English

Now this is scary: a room full of well dressed, well fed, healthy looking folk looking at a load of old photographs on walls. It's crowded, but standing outside looking in for any longer could be misconstrued as a little creepy. The photographers inside don't encourage entry, but it appears they are only taking pictures of couples or people whose names are already known. Go in! Go in! But don't get caught staring at the attendees, just look at the pictures and sneak a wee gawk at who's about now and then. There's a few Vacuum celebrities here, recognisable from their pictures on the gallery walls or from newspaper mugshots. Would it be wise to talk to them, or would their urbane intellect expose you as the simple bucolic you like to pretend you're not? Best keep your mouth shut and your ears open; listen to all those well pronounced vowels that can only be delivered by the bourgeois Anglo-Celt. Is it ironic or predictable that an exhibition in Northern Ireland about the English in Northern Ireland is mostly attended by the most English of the Northern Irish? Don't think about it, just go. You don't belong here. The pictures were good though.