Now

Parts of Fermanagh and surrounding counties exhibit some degree of diglossia, where the language spoken between locals differs from a higher prestige language, in this case Received Pronunciation (aka Standard English). This is simply demonstrated if you slightly change your accent when abroad, or perhaps your parents may use a 'telephone voice' when talking on the phone.

Additionally, in Fermanagh and the surrounding areas (at least- the field of study is not so extensive as to be conclusive), the word "now" exists as a homonym with a multitude of meanings. This Fermanagh "now" differs from the more urban east-of-the-Bann "now". In Belfast, in particular, "naæ" is drawn out with a sliding variation of intonation, and is generally used in its defined context as an indication of the present time. A ruralised version of this is used in Fermanagh, but another "nai" is also used, almost high-pitched, briefly and sharply pronounced from the front of the mouth and with a slight hint of a tilde upon the "n", creating a sound close to a truncated Spanish "eñe".

This noise is most frequently expressed to indicate the satisfaction of the emitter; for example, a Fermanagh man of either religion may have made himself a cup of tea, opened a packet of Hobnobs, and turned on Eastenders with the television remote control: the "nai" will be heard as he drops through the air onto his favourite armchair, all accoutrements within reach.

But "nai" is not restricted to being a vocalisation of contentment. Examples include:

In the workplace

• "nai" I have just completed a task and I am about to start another
• "nai" I am about to inform you of a task you must complete
• "nai" I have just launched Microsoft Outlook and I wonder if I will have many emails

In shops

• "nai" Who is next in line to be served?
• "nai" I have finished scanning your items and I am about to tell you their cost
• "nai" Here is your receipt and change. Goodbye

In bars/restaurants

• "nai" Hello. What would you like to drink?
• "nai" I am ready to take your order
• "nai" Everyone has received their order. Enjoy your meal

In these few contexes, "nai" serves to introduce or conclude a command, a statement or a request, but only if they are satisfactorily truthful. Thus "nai" becomes an expression of confidence regarding your actions, and by that extension should be applied to every action carried out with sufficient quality. For example, the important act of perpetuation of our species: expressing a little "nai" before coitus and another post orgasms should serve as congruent parentheses. Try it out on a partner.

Now.