Brawn

Harrods is not very good. The first time I ever go there, and they don't have any Black Bacon (it wasn't for me, y'see; it was to be a Christmas present for my aunt and uncle). Instead, some traditional Breton brawn caught my eye.

However, an incident occurred after rushing for tube whilst scoffing a chunk of tasty brawn- some gelatine had escaped licks and remained on my fingers as I grasped the handrail on the Piccadilly line train. It smeared along the rail and dissipated into a slightly sticky smudge. This lead to the thought that religious folk who cannot tolerate swine could inadvertently taint themselves by grasping this rail. These Semites (is that the correct collective noun? Forgive my ignorance, for it is exactly that) would clearly be displeasing their deity, who omnipotently witnesses the contamination. Are all accidental desecrations tallied?


Anyway... the npower monkey has been shook off, only to be replaced by a British Gas gorilla. npower have finally backed down over an incorrect bill for £100.90 (thanks to Energywatch and MPAS), but British Gas has been estimating our electricity consumption all year, until their man came round and read the meter recently. The direct debits have been falling a little short; around £442.57 short. Ouch.